Different people have different goals in life. There those who do things just like everybody else, others chose to do things in their own way, while others decide to wait upon God to do his will.
Go to school, get a job, get married have children and retire when the day comes, this tends to be an expectation to most parents for their children. If it takes time for God to bless you with the right partner, questions, suggestions coercing and every trick in the book is applied on you to help you find the partner.
You dread family gathering because at some point your uncles and unties will be on your case. They cannot understand why a family friend’s daughter or son you grew up together cannot be your husband or wife and yet the families know each other quite well.
All your childhood friends and classmate are all married and the biological clock is ticking (what is biological clock, did it apply to Sarah, Abrahams wife?) Pressure is so much from many quarters, there is this man or that woman who seem to understand you perfectly they are concerned (or seem to be concerned) about you they are making moves and you think that they are right for you, but they are not disciples.
You are tempted to take a break get married to this person then get restored as it seems that there is no one who seems to be the right one for you in the church ( that’s devils language) …..
Brothers and Sisters while getting married in the kingdom of God is a great thing the truth of the matter is, not all of us will get married at the time that we want to, and not all of us will get married, some out of choice, while to others God’s will could be you are ok the way you are.
Growing up I had resolved to never get married .A past negative experience taught me that marriage was unnecessary evil and the only woman whom I could trust was my mum. And this is the mentality that I had when I become a disciple. That’s why we need to deal with our past , get all the help that you may need learn to accept that we are all different and have gone through different experiences but in Christ we are one.
Four years down as a disciple I had no dating / fellowship life. And it took a lot of discipling and encouragements for me to start dating, I started hanging out with sisters and slowly I learned that not all women were what I had perceived them to be. Sisters were great and most of them were very honest and very open and my heart started warming up to them.
Falling in love is wonderful, the warm glowing feeling that you feel whenever you see the one you have fallen in love with. A heart break too is equally devastating, bitterness may grow and if not dealt with can have a long lasting negative effect. God gave me a chance to fall in love. I had a few heart breaks and heart aches, (this is quite healthy as it calls us to grow to be more mature to depend and trust in God more).
I went out with many sisters; young, old, singles mums and from there I made good genuine and great sisters friends whom I could share so much with and being open to each other without fear of being venerable. I made such wonderful friendships that it become difficult for me to zero in to one sister but thank God He allowed me to get the one am married to now.
WHY AM I SHARING ALL THESE? I believe that my experience is not unique and somebody somewhere could be going through what I went through.
MY LIFE EXPERINCE TIPS THAT COULD HELP YOU:-
+ Some of us had a past that was quite traumatizing, could be failed relationship, that makes you think that no relationship will ever work for you, Could be something that your mother or father did to you and that made you hate all men or women, could be a childhood experience. Whatever it is God has washed your past away and you are a new creature. With Christ you can overcome anything. Isaiah 43: 18 the bible calls us to forget about our former things and not dwell in our past.
+ Do you have a “PLAN B”? That there is a suitable candidate for you out there to fall back to if the kingdom one fails? one thing that I had to do when I realized that I better had to depend on God was to delete all the numbers that I had in my cell phone for the women whom I thought would get married to if it did not work for me in the church. James 1:7 -8 Being double minded God will not reward you. But if you are focused and steady with God, blessing will follow you. Psalm 37:4. Calls us to delight on God and he will give us the desire of our heart. This is the call for all of us.
+ Are you perfect? I guess not so stop looking for Mr. or Miss perfect they don’t exist. Each and every one of us has some strengths and some weakness. As human being we see other peoples weakness rarely do we see our own weakness. TITUS 2: 11 – 12 It’s the grace of God that teaches us to say no to all ungodliness…….. As we work out weakness let’s learn to extend this grace to our brothers and sisters and let God do the rest.
+ AGE. Whether chorological or spiritual. Being a disciple for a long time and yet you are single people (non disciples mostly) may start questioning what’s wrong with you. When the age (physical) factor features in, it may lead people to start blaming the church as a cause for you to be single for this long. But as disciple of Christ you know God’s timings is always the best. But you have to walk the talk, if you want to get married are you taking sisters out and vice versa. Isaiah 64:4. You wait for the Lord He will act on your behalf and you will not be disappointed. It really does not matter for how long you wanted to get married as long as you are doing the right things God will bring the right person for you. He could be the one you are thinking about or the one you think nothing good can come out of him or they have not been baptized or are in a different congregation.
OTHER HELPFUL TIPS
PRAY: Before you leave home to go and meet your date, ask God to help you honor him and your date.
FRIENDSHIP: Aim to establish a friendship with your date. This will always help if the friendship goes to the next level or when the relationship does not work.
TALK: Get to know each other from spiritual issues, current affairs .talk but watch what you say least you sin.
TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT: keep time, dress decently, watch what you say and how you say it.
And finally.
Philippians 4:8 Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praise worthy, you should think about such things.
God bless
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